chapter 1 fully edited
Here is the first chapter, also edited in red. Any larger chunks have been edited to become punchier, and convey meaning more succinctly. This should engage the audience more. Enjoy reading!
公開説明ボード
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コンテスト所有者 - 6年間前
Hi Vito, I have been able to narrow down my options to yours and one other. I like your creativity when it comes to changing the sentence around. You took out most of the the redundancies making it less choppy to read. So all this is good. I have a few concerns for you, though, your good but your hourly is more than I am able to afford at this point. Especially for all the work that needs to be done in this book. Also are you new to freelancer? I don't really see any previous gigs or work I can look at. It's no big deal if you are, just realizing your price point is higher than most on here and they all have considerable freelancer experience, gigs and samples to view. Let me know your thoughts.
- 6年間前
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コンテスト所有者 - 6年間前
The paragraph that says Did I lose you? Health? I used What the Health? because people will recognize the groundbreaking documentary of the same name.
- 6年間前
